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Author: Bhavik Sarkhedi

Bhavik Sarkhedi is the founder of Ohh My Brand, co-founder of Blushush Agency. His work has been featured in esteemed publications such as as The New York Times, Forbes, HuffPost, and Entrepreneur. He is the best-selling author of 'The Unproposed Guy'. Bhavik Sarkhedi is an accomplished and verified personal branding expert, award winning digital marketer, independent SEO writer, published author of 12 books, and storyteller known for his prolific contributions across various domains.

A recall to the Un-famous & Un-Proposed me

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

Approximately before a year, I wrote this :

A recall to the unfamous me.

I will keep writing this until I become famous (You can laugh OUT loud).

So, I was at the project café, alone (do you doubt?) and happy (you wish). I could see two couples but did eavesdrop of one. The one I wish I didn’t. Like-Bhavik & her dates of 2013–14–15 in a café, where even the waiters could anticipate the newness and extravaganza. It was usual and fun; they both enjoyed and had a great time, I assumed and would definitely move to the next date, only if I could confirm.

The other duo, like always and like every other days, were embarrassing me because the girl was so beautiful and I couldn’t figure out a way to find a single reason if the boy was nearly intellectual or smart or (nahi, handsome to tha) aur ha (Paisewala bhi tha) okay, where was I? Why was the girl with that guy? Are haan, paise ka bol dia na mene? Acha chalo, next.

The girls sometimes looks so beautiful to me that I don’t even feel like I am human, I am just a pet dog, a real pet dog, who wants to ride the car but would always be in the lap of the side seater, aur me bhi, matlab, muh mese shabd nahi nikalte itni achi wali bhai, matlab k tum pucho hi mat, babu.

Anokhi aaur Adhuri daastayein of how a normal guy was forced to transform into ‘The Unproposed Guy’. A Scientific Definition of #UnProposedGuy (Because wo science student tha)

Unproposed= An unlucky human being who has never had any eye contact with a girl & doesn’t know what ‘Love at First Sight’ is.

Maths (Because it’s necessary) — When you add this guy to any point of line, it becomes pointless.

Physics (Duniya kayam hein) — This guy, like energy, can neither be created nor destroyed. It just transforms meaninglessly.

Chemistry (He had never had any) — Un (Bun without B) + Pro (Master of none) + Pose (What?) + D (Ex) <=> This Guy (Reversible Reaction)

PS- The Unproposed Guy hates everything that includes & involves Coitus.

Here, how the #unproposedguy will miss himself.

Once upon a ‘Before-millenial’ era, an ugly child was born.

Not his fault, the whole town was ugly. (Fortunately, child had no single horn)

Moving to a city made no difference & gave him a beamer.

In fact, his life was less creamer, became gradually dimmer.

Moving to another big city, the decision was lamer

Jese faltu mein koi fast bowler se ban gaya spinner.

‘You can’t keep a girl- NO!’ now, he was a role model for every loser.

His life was a lie, lied between ‘Aww’ and ‘Ooo’, never befitted as a winner.

The Weak Point Dealer aka Douchebag’s Dude walked a mile.

Even the name Lame Loader didn’t help him to sit on the aisle.

So, in frustration, he checked some old files for a while.

He realized he would never be able to impress other genders.

Thus, start hua ek silsilla, an essay of all blunders.

From all those blunders, he always expected some wonders.

That wonderful day, the ‘wonder’ happened wonderfully and then, he lived happily. ‘Not The End’.

To.be.continued.

This article was originally published on Medium.com

The Last Crush of My Life

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

Did I already say you were more than a crush?

I was awestruck when I first saw you blush.

Vivaciously I fell head over heels and got adrenaline rush.

Your ‘no degree’ eye deflection towards anyone put my feelings in flush.

Actually, from the first, I was aware that you were plush.

Did I ever ask you to call?

It has not been so rare that I fall.

Very closely I have observed you, doll.

You sure you never noticed me a small?

Actually, I had no intention to cross the wall.

Did you know how much I liked you?

I am so sure about the number of gums you chew.

Vast lifestyle differences were one of the answers, it’s true.

You sure you never found a single minute to get my good view?

Actually, I know I did everything to get to you but got a sad Phewwwww.

Did I mention that I lost my self-esteem?

I wish I could talk to you as it was my dream.

Very rapidly, that beautiful dream turned into a daydream.

Your ‘I don’t give a F***’ attitude switched my fantasy to a sad theme.

Actually, it all happened for a reason before I could reach an extreme.

Did I tell you I wanted to confess your name so badly?

I could have broadcasted it on TV, Radio, and YouTube abruptly.

Very sincerely, I tried to get a good morning glance of yours daily.

Your ‘I am not looking at anyone’ omen hinted me to stop sadly.

Actually, I wish you could know how at the very first sight, I fell for you truly & madly.

Did I tell you they warned me that looks are deceiving?

I always unheard them as I felt some beautifully hidden meaning.

Very good, was never a compliment as I failed every time in pleasing.

Your ‘I can never be impressed by you’ gave me a disheartening screaming.

Actually, it all starts with the ravishing looks and ends with books, unceasing.

PS- Though I was ahead of her in the race of alphabets, I lost to her in the race of love.

[Verified] 10 Things That Indian Managers Are Very Well-Versed With

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

If you are an employee suffering only because of your boss being bossy or going to be that employee, this is for you.

1. How to compensate during the interview?

 

You go for an interview and he asks your expectations. Whatever amount you are offered is half of what you expect! And when you get to know that, your expression is “Why are you even giving that?”

2. To be really good in initial days

 

Making you feel so comfortable in initial days that you are impressed with their working culture. After your joining, he asks you out about the working environment. As if, you be honest you can just make a move out of there.

3. They are an expert in giving hopes

 

Giving you HOPES that you will be promoted soon and you feel you have hit the goal. But the truth is you haven’t. Sooner or later you realize, it was all fake.

4. How to exploit this chap?

 

They happen to push all their pressure on you and make you feel motivated by saying few good statements. “You lead this team!” He keeps on doing this unless the work is done. The day you manage to complete all the tasks, he won’t even look back at you.

5. Conducting meetings

 

Asking everyone to come along with their notepad and pen is such a typical boss. And when you attend the meeting, all you realize is, you needn’t be at the meeting.

6. Asking someone to send minutes

 

He so reveals that he is your boss by asking someone to send minutes. Cant, he himself does that work?

7. Dropping shitty e-mails

 

Why drop such e-mails when you sit around us? Simply let us know orally about it. Briefing is something that has to do with your roles. When you go for a briefing, you realize that it’s some stupid shit he wants to speak about just for 2 minutes.

8. Asking to follow their orders that make no sense

 

Like seriously? What for are we supposed to follow your instructions during break? We understand that you are our boss but you can’t rule over us. If you had to take this liberty away, why did you give it at the very first place?

9. “I am your boss” attitude

 

Why does he have to tell that in all the meetings that are being conducted? We know you are our boss who is of no use. You can only order but not do any task properly.

10. Don’t use your brain but think outside the box.

 

How are we supposed to do that? It’s like sitting inside the box and trying to find a solution of a problem.

8 Things I Learnt About Writing By Being A Mechanical Engineer-Turned-Writer [Funny]

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

The word ‘Engineering’ has become so cliché today that either the students go for MBA or pursue the artistic skills they have. I had the flair of writing since I was a child. I completed the engineering; I switched my career. This doesn’t look any cliché. Today, I am a full-time writer. Here are 8 vital things I learnt about writing:

1. It’s not just a career. It’s passion.

I started content writing as a career. Initially, it was the only source of income for me. Actually, the income mode could have been more in engineering. Why Writing? It’s not just a career, it’s passion. I learnt gradually that if I write for the sake of my financial crisis, I can’t be a better writer. I get an inner thrust, a momentum that encourages me to write by heart.

2. It is not at all easy.

When I made the transition, I was confident enough to score. I was wrong. The passion chase is tough. It asks of your emotional aspects. There are plenty of professional writers who have been engaged in the field. My competition is with them. My writing needs training, a style and finesse that grow with time.

2. Patience is a must.

When I made the career shift, I was totally unaware of this factor. I began to know that I have to increase the tolerance of accepting failures and motivation of getting a break. I can’t do it instantaneously. Nothing is abrupt. I mastered patience, then.

4. Innumerable Subdomain.

Before entering into the writing field, I thought blogging is writing. I used to blog and publish it. The deeper I went into it, the more knowledge I acquired about it. Scriptwriting, Songwriting, Copywriting, Novel writing, etc. are various subdomains I could undertake. This inspired me to get involved in these vectors.

5. Money doesn’t motivate.

I was engaged in content writing primarily. I used to write and write on Quora, Medium, Linkedin and my personal blogs. It was that duration of time when money didn’t motivate me. The writing zeal accelerated when I started trusting myself.

6. Choosing a niche is important.

You can’t be a goal-keeper and a wicket-keeper. The learning experience is over. I had to decide what subdomain I will proceed into. I decided my niche and brought into the innovation I had with me. It was a deciding factor in the ‘shift’. Choosing a niche is crucial.

7. Everything is writing.

As I already mentioned, there were different disciplines in the writing field. Soon, I realized that everything around me surrounds writing, be it: advertising, media, entertainment, movies, blogging, digital marketing, and many more. I bucked up myself that I set foot in the right field. I should write right because it is all about writing eventually.

8. There is no comparison.

It’s a crystal clear consideration to keep in mind that there should not be any comparison between engineering and writing. Both are passion and profession, in their own separate ways. I skilled in both but moved ahead with the latter. For few, it’s not the case. There is no comparison.

8 Life Lessons I’ve Learnt By Being An Amateur Stand-Up Comedian [Funny]

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

From colleges to cafes, weddings to bars, stand-up comedians are everywhere, to make you laugh inevitably. It has become a strong business. Every time I go to a bar or a café, there is an open mic. I am living in a ‘Stand Up Comedy’ Era. I am a wannabe stand-up comedian. I tried my hands on it, fumbled, laughed upon, hesitated, spoke up again, punched the joke, improvised and this is what I learnt.

Fear is Necessary.

The most interesting life lesson is that fear is required to propel our amateur attribute and transform that into a confident element. Stage Fear is obvious for any newcomer like me. The positive fearfulness will indeed take your guts to tackle the unsolvable problem. Keep your fear intact, save it and use it when required.

Equilibrium is Required.

I try to keep the balance of spitting out my script and communicating with the audience. My job is to merge both. It’s similar to our ‘Work-Life’ balance. Maintain the equilibrium and you are through.

Frustration Grows.

When they don’t laugh at my joke, it’s worst. I become anxious and the further performance comes under huge pressure. The frustration is constantly building inside me until the next joke makes a laughable impact on the audience. Isn’t it same with life? I hold my exasperation, I defeat it.

A proper recipe.

I don’t go on the stage and speak out anything. I make a script with the necessary punch lines accompanied with the right timing. A proper mixture of all the sufficient ingredients of life makes it worth living.

Improvisation matters.

The performer ought to know this. I should improvise. I didn’t know it at first. Spontaneity is undeniably the creative side of a standup comedian. If the script doesn’t work, what remains is your skill ‘without preparation’. In life, we aren’t always prepared for any unseen and unknown obstacles that hit us.

Make The Mood.

I warm up the crowd by asking them silly questions. I hear their answers, cook something and serve the spontaneous dish. It wouldn’t taste delicious but it would suffice. I try to make the room temperature breathable. It’s imperative in any part of our lives to be moody if we are embarking on a particular thing or it will go mood less and mindless.

Just for Fun

They laugh more on what they relate to their lives. If I become more intellectual, they forget to laugh. They paid for jokes, not for a training session. Similarly, when I do something in my personal and professional life, it doesn’t need to necessarily relate to anything. It is just for fun. No reason, no logic.

Satisfaction.

Standup comedy is one of the thriving eras of our time. The talented people are doing great. I, as a performer, feel contended. I am bored of my same job, but can’t leave it; I am expecting the environment around me as I wish, but it’s unachievable; I want the wicked daily soap to be banished, but I can’t do anything about it; I want to laugh out loud till the last breath of my life, is there anything I should do about it? I don’t know; I am a layman, I just don’t want to be fluctuating; I want to be steadfast about it. It all comes to this factor. Satisfaction.