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Loads, Lmao, Stand Up, Sit down, Laugh, Sledge, Load again.

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

A small poem for those who still loves 90s

 

Be a child with your parents,

Be a dumbass with your friends,

Be a mature with your colleagues,

Be the combination of all with your partner

 

Some Miscellaneous before I start my laughably boring ride

 

Whatsapp= Where ‘Thumbs up’ is the worst

Facebook= Where ‘Thumbs up ‘is used occasionally, frequently and forcefully

Tinder- Where ‘Middle Finger ‘ is used literally after virtual ‘Thumbs up’

Metup= Failed Tinder

Happn=It never happens in India

Paytm ka Almamater= Cashback

Instagram= I want to be with/like Snapchat

Snapchat= I am taken

Twitter= I am committed till 140 characters

Reddit= I am origin of everything on Internet

Quora= I think I am Reddit for Indians

Wikipedia= Sadly, I am turning to be Quora slowly

Tumblr= Who am I? What’s the fuzz?

Pinterst= I am everywhere in Google Images after Imgur

Playstore= Kind of a ‘Free’ store

Itunes= Not so kind and free

FM=I still exist

Calculator= When you can’t add 10+10

 

*Ladies & Their Not-so-gentlemen, please welcome the next standup comedian, Bhavik Sarkhedi, author of three published but flopped books and an aspiring copywriter unlike Ogilvy.

Hello Beautiful Girls & Just Guys,

I am Bhavik Sarkhedi, I just came here to check if I can make at least a single person laugh because no, my roomies don’t even giggle on my PJs. This is my first open mic ever. So, yes, I am scared and there’s definitely going to be a shit of load on you, so bear & spare me.

All the Grammar Nazis,

Kindly ignore your ego to rectify my auxiliary verbs, abstract nouns and any weird adjectives that I tried to fit into the conversation when you aren’t laughing. Please.

And needless to say, this work is purely fictional and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I may 😀

It’s because ‘meri feelings bhi hurt hui hein’.

I remember the time when I anchored a college function (I shouldn’t), I spoke, “Rangeela, mane maro dhol” instead of “ Rangelo maro dhol”.

Arrrrrr Arrrrrrr

What would have struck my mind at that time?

Temperature is below 30 degrees, Ye plane ab udega

Journey Title= Orkut se Snapchat Tak.

That mediocre guy is like “Dono nahi pata” Don’t worry bro, Instagram ayega bichme

So, it all started when I found my match, not a tinder, but a room match, I am his soul mate because he is single, he is genius. I call him ‘G spot’.

It’s hard to find him too.

Recently, I was updating my facebook profile and he said:Bhai, duniya reddit pe hein and you are still on FB. I don’t use FB blah.

This guy ruined my life with his singleness. The vibes were so strong that he made me single too. I was so happy and contended with Facebook and he advised me to try Twitter.

You know my mother had made a matrimonial resume too.

Engineer, Skills: Facebook Photography, 100 likes guaranteed, speculates a rise of 300 percent hike if gets a wife.

Ruined. Verified.

I tried but couldn’t get any number of 3 figures of followers in Twitter.

It’s so tough to get ‘Unpaid’ and ‘Unpadh’ followers, man.

In facebook, you can write shit: You can write an essay because nobody gives a damn about you in real life.

In Twitter, I felt more lonely and insecure. I can’t expres myself. So, I would start with (in order to fit in 140 characters), “Girl, I saw you in pink, I blinked,..Can we have sex please, please? I will pay return fare too.”

Transition was difficult “Photographer” se “Writer”

I told my mother to edit my resume too.

Edit: Requires only 140 characters to reach sexting.

Just when I learned Twitter, Facebook found his love ‘Instagram’.

What the hell? ‘Ab toh mein Writer Hun, na ma? Fir se Photographer ban jau?

It’s so a feminist social network. I failed in that too.

Then my friend came “Bhai, Snapchat daala, Snapchat daala?” I was furious.

I said, “Out of so many important things to daal, you always asks me for something I am devoid of. I feel impotent.”

I tell you, I can never ever Snapchat, It’s a nightmare app. So, I thought I would better switch to Orkut but then I knew it was shut down. Now, I only had one option.

PORN

Tell me, what’s one of the common things in lick, dick, suck and fuck? It’s the CK

Calvin Klein.

I saw the quote on one of my virgin friend’s mobile cover, “68. You owe me one.”

What? What?

I couldn’t resist but told him “Dude, 69 is ulta sex. When was the last time you had siddha sex?”

He said, I am single and I need no love.

I was like “Bhai, Tu gaali me bhi love boldeta hein. You don’t say lode, you have always said love de.”

Okay, we are talking about porn and I must say that it’s funny sometimes when there is a foreplay in the foreplay.

The hero- The accountant, the robber, banker, plumber, pizza guy, the president

Anybody except a normal homo sapien finds the toughest way to enter into the house of a hot woman,

The opened front door.

The lady, for some reason, I don’t know and I wouldn’t even try to figure out why the woman is cooking naked.

Then somehow after they talk and when he does something, she says, ‘No, you can’t do this to me. It’s wrong.’

Okay, wait. So, cooking naked with the door open was right?

I be like “Let him do his job, you do some blowjob and so that I can finish my climax job.”

Dekho she is saying, “Na na” and I am feeling they are bargaining.

It’s like the hero said, “Sirf ek kiss & anal, baal bandhlo, bun banalo aur man manalo”

And when she says, “No”

I with one hand controlled and could raise just one hand said, “

Give him love, behen ki love di. He licks, you suck, and that is how you will be fucked.

PORN= We write it right

[Verified] 10 Things That Indian Managers Are Very Well-Versed With

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

If you are an employee suffering only because of your boss being bossy or going to be that employee, this is for you.

1. How to compensate during the interview?

You go for an interview and he asks your expectations. Whatever amount you are offered is half of what you expect! And when you get to know that, your expression is “Why are you even giving that?”

2. To be really good in initial days

Making you feel so comfortable in initial days that you are impressed with their working culture. After your joining, he asks you out about the working environment. As if, you be honest you can just make a move out of there.

3. They are an expert in giving hopes

Giving you HOPES that you will be promoted soon and you feel you have hit the goal. But the truth is you haven’t. Sooner or later you realize, it was all fake.

4. How to exploit this chap?

They happen to push all their pressure on you and make you feel motivated by saying few good statements. “You lead this team!” He keeps on doing this unless the work is done. The day you manage to complete all the tasks, he won’t even look back at you.

5. Conducting meetings

Asking everyone to come along with their notepad and pen is such a typical boss. And when you attend the meeting, all you realize is, you needn’t be at the meeting.

6. Asking someone to send minutes

He so reveals that he is your boss by asking someone to send minutes. Cant, he himself does that work?

7. Dropping shitty e-mails

Why drop such e-mails when you sit around us? Simply let us know orally about it. Briefing is something that has to do with your roles. When you go for a briefing, you realize that it’s some stupid shit he wants to speak about just for 2 minutes.

8. Asking to follow their orders that make no sense

Like seriously? What for are we supposed to follow your instructions during break? We understand that you are our boss but you can’t rule over us. If you had to take this liberty away, why did you give it at the very first place?

9. “I am your boss” attitude

Why does he have to tell that in all the meetings that are being conducted? We know you are our boss who is of no use. You can only order but not do any task properly.

10. Don’t use your brain but think outside the box.

How are we supposed to do that? It’s like sitting inside the box and trying to find a solution of a problem.

Top & Best Stand Up Comedians in India in 2024

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

Updated/Edited on 27th June, 2024:  This is one of the most-read blogs on my website. Thank you so much for showing so much love to this post. I feel grateful (Joining Hands Indian Style). I am an independent verified SEO writer, best-selling author, reliable ghostwriter and personal branding expert who helps entrepreneurs and startups nurture their online/digital presence. Guaranteed results in SERP (Search Engine Results Page). Lead Generator via LinkedIn. See my portfolio here and follow me on socials: www.linktr.ee/sarkhedibhavik Thank you. Keep reading informational blogs. Keep sharing. Reach out to me for any feedbacks and suggestions on content writing, personal branding and digital marketing 🙂 🙂

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2023 was a good year for comedy. Dealing with anxieties, monday blues, relationship struggles we all need something to refresh our minds. With rising platforms like Amazon Prime, Netflix, Hotstar etc. giving a stage to leading comics, the comedy scene only seems to be growing. One such area of comedy that is becoming popular by the day is Stand up comedy in India. From watching Laughter challenge on our TVs to watching stand up comedy specials of our favourite comedians, we know that stand up comedy in India is not a new business but the popularity seems to be increasing in the more recent years. If we were to make a list of the Best stand up comedians in India in the year 2018, it would be difficult to choose among all the great comics, but in this blog we have made an attempt to do so.

Best stand up comedians in India in 2018(in no particular order)

  1. Kanan Gill

Some call him a pretty face while others appreciate his unique style of delivery. But what is this? Old tradition notions that beauty and brains cannot exist? Kanan Gill might be the living example of showing that that’s not true. His Amazon Prime special- ‘Keep it real’ which released last year, made his place even more prominent in the stand up industry. Between the feeling of nostalgia for the Pretentious movie reviews and Kanan’s growing stand up career, there is a road. How do you cross? (You won’t get the reference if you haven’t seen his Amazon special. Go watch it now.)

  1. Rahul Subramanian

His relatable jokes and quirky insta stories make him special. His role in the AIB’s video where he played ‘the overachiever’ shows how much talent he has. His stand up comedy special ‘Kal mai Udega’ came out in 2018 and was very well received by the appreciators of comedy. His stand ups about DJs, house maids, drugs in sports were among his best bits.

  1. Neeta Palta

A screenwriter by profession, she is also among the top leading inspirations in the field of stand up comedy  in 2018. Taking a dig on various cultural practices and thoughts, this lady does not shy away from expressing her opinions without any filter and with a perfect comic timing. The confidence she displays on the stage is an inspiration for every girl who wants to pursue comedy but often hears ‘arre it’s a man’s job’ or ‘women aren’t funny’.

  1. Biswa Kalyan Rath

Biswa- mast aadmi has created a position for himself in the comedy industry. With saying the funniest things with a straight face to giving us major liners like  ‘aye tatti tera naam kya hai?’ Biswa has our heart. His relatable jokes and simplistic approach towards comedy makes him stand out from the rest. Along with many other comedians, his standup special ‘mast aadmi’ came out last year.

  1. Zakir khan

Zakir Khan comes as a saviour for the people who have been tired listening to the question “Why aren’t you in a relationship?”. SakhtLaunda has become a brand and has made singlehood even more amazing. His stand ups usually revolve around love, heartbreaks, struggles of a common man etc. Delhi girl was one of his first stand up acts and to be honest we still love to binge it anytime. His Two stand up specials came in the two years Haq se Single in 2017 and KakshaGyarvi in 2018. This desi boy has amazing comic timing and the way he adds shayari to his comedy makes the whole experience even better.

  1. Kenny Sebastian

Yes, the guitar guy. Kenny Sebastian has always been one of the best stand up comedians in India .His relatable jokes on middle class problems, his acting and his music bits make his performance stand out from the rest. His ‘chai time with Kenny’ is a simple and lovable concept of stand ups. If you are a person who doesn’t like his comedy, please ‘Don’t be that guy’.

  1. Prashasti Singh

Prashasti Singh came as a fresh new talent in stand up comedy in 2018 along with many others from the show Comicstaan. Comicstaan aimed to give a platform to new stand up comedians and help to polish their skills through new task every week mentored by top 7 comedians of India. Her desi girl persona along with blatant honesty was loved by everyone. Guys (read in Prashti’s voice) please watch her stand up if you haven’t yet.

  1. Daniel Fernandes

Generally focusing on social issues, Daniel Fernandes’ jokes are filled with political humour. His dark jokes make us think and rofl at the same time. His ‘strange way to celebrate an Indian festival’ stand up comedy in 2018 was a well articulated piece.

  1. Abish Mathew

Good boy Abish has our hearts with his cute face and simple jokes. From being a host of his own show ‘Son of Abish’ (creative name!) to getting his own stand up special ‘Whoop’ only recently, this comedian has surely proved that he’s worth it.

  1. Aditi Mittal

Aditi Mittal has set a ready stage for female comedians and has been an inspiration to speak our mind. With her bold and unapologetic jokes on periods, bras and orgasms, this girl does not shy away from representing the problems faced by women in their day to day life.

Atul Khatri, KaneezSurka, Rohan Joshi, Rahul Dua, Kunal Kamra, Abhishek Upmanyu. Oops we have run out of space. There are so many other comedians that we have loved this year and we would therefore like to mention few other names-Maybe,some odd day in 2020- you will hear about some viral video ‘Bhavik Sarkhedi’ :p. If it happens, I will have one pseudo name, Yes, Unproposed Guy.

We hope that stand up comedy in India as well as the rest of the world  continues to bring a smile on everyone’s faces and the comedians who make us happy share this happiness and continue to grow.