Bhavik's website logo
Discovery Call

Author: Bhavik Sarkhedi

Bhavik Sarkhedi is the founder of Ohh My Brand, co-founder of Blushush Agency. His work has been featured in esteemed publications such as as The New York Times, Forbes, HuffPost, and Entrepreneur. He is the best-selling author of 'The Unproposed Guy'. Bhavik Sarkhedi is an accomplished and verified personal branding expert, award winning digital marketer, independent SEO writer, published author of 12 books, and storyteller known for his prolific contributions across various domains.

Loads, Lmao, Stand Up, Sit down, Laugh, Sledge, Load again.

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

A small poem for those who still loves 90s

 

Be a child with your parents,

Be a dumbass with your friends,

Be a mature with your colleagues,

Be the combination of all with your partner

Some Miscellaneous before I start my laughably boring ride

Whatsapp= Where ‘Thumbs up’ is the worst

Facebook= Where ‘Thumbs up ‘is used occasionally, frequently and forcefully

Tinder- Where ‘Middle Finger ‘ is used literally after virtual ‘Thumbs up’

Metup= Failed Tinder

Happn=It never happens in India

Paytm ka Almamater= Cashback

Instagram= I want to be with/like Snapchat

Snapchat= I am taken

Twitter= I am committed till 140 characters

Reddit= I am origin of everything on Internet

Quora= I think I am Reddit for Indians

Wikipedia= Sadly, I am turning to be Quora slowly

Tumblr= Who am I? What’s the fuzz?

Pinterst= I am everywhere in Google Images after Imgur

Playstore= Kind of a ‘Free’ store

Itunes= Not so kind and free

FM=I still exist

Calculator= When you can’t add 10+10

*Ladies & Their Not-so-gentlemen, please welcome the next standup comedian, Bhavik Sarkhedi, author of three published but flopped books and an aspiring copywriter unlike Ogilvy.

Hello Beautiful Girls & Just Guys,

I am Bhavik Sarkhedi, I just came here to check if I can make at least a single person laugh because no, my roomies don’t even giggle on my PJs. This is my first open mic ever. So, yes, I am scared and there’s definitely going to be a shit of load on you, so bear & spare me.

All the Grammar Nazis,

Kindly ignore your ego to rectify my auxiliary verbs, abstract nouns and any weird adjectives that I tried to fit into the conversation when you aren’t laughing. Please.

And needless to say, this work is purely fictional and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I may 😀

It’s because ‘meri feelings bhi hurt hui hein’.

I remember the time when I anchored a college function (I shouldn’t), I spoke, “Rangeela, mane maro dhol” instead of “ Rangelo maro dhol”.

Arrrrrr Arrrrrrr

What would have struck my mind at that time?

Temperature is below 30 degrees, Ye plane ab udega

Journey Title= Orkut se Snapchat Tak.

That mediocre guy is like “Dono nahi pata” Don’t worry bro, Instagram ayega bichme

So, it all started when I found my match, not a tinder, but a room match, I am his soul mate because he is single, he is genius. I call him ‘G spot’.

It’s hard to find him too.

Recently, I was updating my facebook profile and he said:Bhai, duniya reddit pe hein and you are still on FB. I don’t use FB blah.

This guy ruined my life with his singleness. The vibes were so strong that he made me single too. I was so happy and contended with Facebook and he advised me to try Twitter.

You know my mother had made a matrimonial resume too.

Engineer, Skills: Facebook Photography, 100 likes guaranteed, speculates a rise of 300 percent hike if gets a wife.

Ruined. Verified.

I tried but couldn’t get any number of 3 figures of followers in Twitter.

It’s so tough to get ‘Unpaid’ and ‘Unpadh’ followers, man.

In facebook, you can write shit: You can write an essay because nobody gives a damn about you in real life.

In Twitter, I felt more lonely and insecure. I can’t expres myself. So, I would start with (in order to fit in 140 characters), “Girl, I saw you in pink, I blinked,..Can we have sex please, please? I will pay return fare too.”

Transition was difficult “Photographer” se “Writer”

I told my mother to edit my resume too.

Edit: Requires only 140 characters to reach sexting.

Just when I learned Twitter, Facebook found his love ‘Instagram’.

What the hell? ‘Ab toh mein Writer Hun, na ma? Fir se Photographer ban jau?

It’s so a feminist social network. I failed in that too.

Then my friend came “Bhai, Snapchat daala, Snapchat daala?” I was furious.

I said, “Out of so many important things to daal, you always asks me for something I am devoid of. I feel impotent.”

I tell you, I can never ever Snapchat, It’s a nightmare app. So, I thought I would better switch to Orkut but then I knew it was shut down. Now, I only had one option.

PORN

Tell me, what’s one of the common things in lick, dick, suck and fuck? It’s the CK

Calvin Klein.

I saw the quote on one of my virgin friend’s mobile cover, “68. You owe me one.”

What? What?

I couldn’t resist but told him “Dude, 69 is ulta sex. When was the last time you had siddha sex?”

He said, I am single and I need no love.

I was like “Bhai, Tu gaali me bhi love boldeta hein. You don’t say lode, you have always said love de.”

Okay, we are talking about porn and I must say that it’s funny sometimes when there is a foreplay in the foreplay.

The hero- The accountant, the robber, banker, plumber, pizza guy, the president

Anybody except a normal homo sapien finds the toughest way to enter into the house of a hot woman,

The opened front door.

The lady, for some reason, I don’t know and I wouldn’t even try to figure out why the woman is cooking naked.

Then somehow after they talk and when he does something, she says, ‘No, you can’t do this to me. It’s wrong.’

Okay, wait. So, cooking naked with the door open was right?

I be like “Let him do his job, you do some blowjob and so that I can finish my climax job.”

Dekho she is saying, “Na na” and I am feeling they are bargaining.

It’s like the hero said, “Sirf ek kiss & anal, baal bandhlo, bun banalo aur man manalo”

And when she says, “No”

I with one hand controlled and could raise just one hand said, “

Give him love, behen ki love di. He licks, you suck, and that is how you will be fucked.

PORN= We write it right

Tinder is where a guy looks for another guy!

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

I didn’t know that I will do it to this extent. I certainly couldn’t believe what I saw. I had no idea what to do with it and so, I am sharing it with you guys and girls of ‘Tinder’ age.  It was that midnight when I completed a year but was unable to celebrate the anniversary, it was a 365-day completion of my Tinder installation and I have not been able to find a single date.

Adding salt to my misery, the roommate told me, “Bhai, you owe me 300 something bucks. You subscribed for some shit and all.”

Yes, I had told my friend that it was a Hotstar subscription and he would always wonder why I would deny sharing my smartphone for an hour or so to watch the GOT episodes. Turned out that day he found out that I purchased a paid version of Tinder and he freaked out.

“Saala, dost to chu**ya banata hein. How many dates did you find in this one month?”

Soon after he realized that I couldn’t find any date from the paid version, there was a 2-minutes silence in our apartment and we decided to make use of that one last day of the paid application.

This is how we did it- The unexpected search of all the ‘Un-dated Guys’ like me, I gave them the name ‘The Unproposed Guys’.

Since we had the paid app, we turned our settings from finding ‘Female’ to finding ‘Male’ and went on to check the entire categories of guy profiles across the country. We changed locations, we changed ages, and we changed settings to get ‘That One Guy’ who will be like us (Funniest, Weirdest and Ugliest). We were wrong.

There weren’t any such profile, there were many. 😀  : D

Guys so becomes a salesman when they showoff. I will start with one of the primary profiles which excited us both to make that night the most memorable and laughable (on others).

  • ‘Swipe Right To Know More, Dear.’

Wow, this is the worst and the slowest click bait ever. The guy is so confident that the girl will swipe him right although he had 3 pictures of ‘Shree Ganesh’, ‘Shree Krishna’ and ‘Vishnu’ in his profile. May the lords bless him and his bait!

  • ‘Hit me up if you feel so, baby.’

That’s what I wanted to do it. The TED talk taught me to have confidence but I didn’t get the guts to say this in virtual world where only women will read it, only women. After this, I came across many irrelevant phrases that made no sense but were written so dauntlessly that I ‘laughed on my feet’, yea, this kind of phrases.

  • ‘I am here for few days only, ladies. Hurry up.’

Where is the loudspeaker we haven’t used since ages, Samrat? He turned it on and I laughed it with the mic in my hand until he turned it off because I felt relieved and relaxed. Yes, I am not the only stupidest guy in the world. Actually, the world is full of it. Hurry up? Seriously? Didn’t I tell you about the sales pitch? Hence, proved.

Within 3 hours that I will remember the most in my life, we had traveled to 15 countries and scrolled almost 500 profiles that were utter bullshit. When I told my friend in excitement, “Drinks on me, tomorrow”, only then I realized that we were already high without alcohol. Man, I haven’t expressed my honest emotions sober. He said, “I am proud of you, Bhavik”. We hugged laughing, for about two seconds, but then we remember that we saw few cool profiles too and we hugged crying.

Moving on.

  • ‘90s lover. Let’s meet at your balcony. I will be downstairs. Whatsapp me: 84600342**’
  • ‘I am getting married soon but I don’t want my wife to tell me that I didn’t have any girlfriend till date, so let’s date.’
  • ‘My mother forced me to register on shaadi.com & my father told me to come here.’
  • ‘People are talking about this app. Let’s try it. Who wants to date me first?’

I told Samrat to bring near the mic but he denied. I somehow managed to laugh monstrously enough to wake the neighbors up. This apartment is full of bachelors, so whatever.

  • ‘Dheeraj, my name is slow but I am not. Email me @dheeraj.notsoslow@gmail.com’
  • ‘Jignesh. Gujju but I don’t like Gathiya, Fafda or Garba. Date me, please, I am cute.’

Man, you should love all those things. Where is your dignity? Be proud of being a Gujju. Before I could buck him up telepathically, Samrat reminded me when I ate egg (being Jain) just to convince a girl (which eventually didn’t work out) that I am not afraid of hens. Hahahahaaha.

  • ‘Gayrish. I am gay. My gf doesn’t know it. Need a girl with whom I can share my feelings because guys don’t listen to me anymore.

Creative ways cities are luring digital business to town

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

Location is important. It is of great value for a company if the owner or founder finds a location viable for the company’s growth. One needs to check a number of factors before deciding on the location. The attitude of the locals and the local government play major roles in how friendly or unfriendly a state might be towards entrepreneurial growth. Many municipalities in different regions usually offer some incentives to businesses to be set up in a specific region. But these incentives are not enough to decide the location of a business set up. Here are a few more features offered by many states to attract business enterprises in their states.
If there is a lot of paperwork that needs to be fulfilled before starting a digital business at a certain location, it is very discouraging for the owner. The company leaders feel that their power would be tampered with, which in turn will hamper their growth strategies. That is why cities with easy streamlined regulations are more alluring to open business enterprises. Moreover, it is the age of start-ups now. Hence, regulations which may slow down the growth of small businesses are not favoured. The tax situation is also scrutinised by the business leaders before recommending or situating their own company or its branches at a particular place.

The states with lowest amount of tax hassles are bound to attract more investors. And, the housing costs must also be reasonable. A low cost of living is required for the employees of a company at a location. If a company recruits from among recent college graduates, affordable housing locations are very beneficial. New employees would feel that they can save a lot while working for the company, which is a big incentive in itself.
But it is the age of sustainable development nowadays. Hence, development in commerce and industry must never be at the cost of local heritage, ethnicity and culture. The unique characteristics of humanity must be preserved.
Some sort of property tax break systems, if put into place, would make living cost fair not just for employees, but also for students in areas near colleges and universities. Ease of doing business is a major factor which attracts more investors and business investors to a particular location.

The National Capital Region is filled with different companies, and so is Mumbai, in India. The ease of doing business is rated very high in these regions. There may be many cities with dreams as big as the success case of Silicon Valley, but to achieve those dreams, it is the need of the hour to start being creative. States need to put forward some innovative methods to grab attention of companies as well as investors. The start-up ecosystem needs to be nurtured as well. Sometimes organizing cash prize events or any other creative events is helpful in drawing investors. Some states in the country have organised industrial meets, and start-up mentorship programmes in order to boost the inflow of investors, but such meets need to increase in frequency so that awareness is developed among people about the different kinds of potential in every state.
Hence, the states with the best of rules and hassle-free tax norms are bound to attract more digital business into the city.

Inspiring TED talks of 2017. What startups should learn from them?

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

Here are a few influential TED Talks from the year 2017 –

Jia Jing is the CEO of Wuju Learning, a platform that has been synonymous in helping companies through their confidence-building process. He said that he faced rejection for a hundred days on a spree. Those self-imposed hundred days of rejection helped him realise that most entrepreneurs and people out in the world are against following bizarre requests, and in general avoid change. They just want to be part of the herd, and not stand out. He used to ask people for strange requests, like – a hundred USD for a burger refill at some restaurant. Yet he was pleasantly surprised when a few people decided to follow his requests out of the blue. His message is to never give up easily on one’s dreams. One must strive for the better irrespective of rejections and harsh circumstances. Such perseverance is valuable for a person in the long run.

Kasparov talks about one of the most important aspects of humanity – fear. He talks about the need of today’s world to conquer our fears and face reality. We will be able to get the best out of the humane world if we overcome our apprehensions. Kasparov lost a chess match to Deep Blue Robot, produced by IBM. Yet he was not a sore loser. He realised the importance of machines in everyday life and started to see through the developments of the ages. He accepted the potential of artificial intelligence. Instead, of looking at the rise of machines as a bad development for mankind, people must use machines as an ally for easing out difficulties of life of humans.

Hugh Herr, the head of MIT Media Lab’s Biomechatronics group is taking technology to the next level. He lost both of his legs around thirty years ago in a climbing accident. But he let nature inspire him in such a way that he has successfully built next-generation bionic limbs, prosthetics with robotic characteristics. The ballroom dancer Adrianne Davis had lost her left leg in the Boston Bombing incident of 2013. Davis performed on the TEDx stage again with the help of prosthetic limbs developed by Herr. It only goes on to prove that one must turn one’s liabilities into opportunities. People must never give up on life.

Not all experiments are fruitful, and this is a hard hitting reality for many at the end of the day. We may want to try doing some task in some innovative way, but we might be frustrated of hitting dead ends again and again. Sure, a setback is definitely agonising. But learn to look beyond it like Tim Harford does. The famous economist talks of trying to find the light at the end of the dark tunnel that sometimes life may throw at us. It is up to us how we channelize our energies in the right direction and believe in sustenance.

So it is visible that TED Talks are big eye openers in today’s society. People are always on the run now. They keep running after success. In the process, they lose touch with the humane characteristics in life. One must never undermine the pure essence of humanity. Such values are what make people successful in every field of life and career.

48 hours in Paris

Posted on by Bhavik Sarkhedi

48 hours in Paris

An architectural marvel with the air full of romance, this is how one defines the beautiful city of Paris. With its picturesque landscapes, the rich history of the city calls out to you for exploration.

If you are on the voyage to explore “the city of lights”, you definitely wouldn’t want to miss out on its exquisite museums, traditional architectures, original cuisines and the trendiest vogue.

With just 48 hours at hand you can cover the large expanse of the interesting routes while covering the attractions of the city, as they are grouped in such a way that you can optimize your time and distance.

Start your day early and walk down to Place des Vosges. It is the finest and oldest square in the city. Stroll around and admire the beauty of nature in its organized form. Take your next steps towards the Sainte-Chapelle which represents in itself the whole bible history. The stained glasses of church create beautiful reflection on a sunny evening.

You don’t want to miss out on one of the most important museums of the world. With a humongous collection of paintings, sculptures and pieces of art, Louvre Museum is an extremely big and finest art gallery with classics such as Mona Lisa and Venus de Milo.

Known as “the house of God and the abode of men”, Cathedral Notre Dame is the largest and most important church of Paris. Get into the queue and explore its Gothic architecture of the time.

Treat your eyes to the grandeur of the “symbol of love” at night. With the beautiful lights, the Eiffel Tower takes you to another level of ecstasy. The view of the city from up there is amazing and so is the view of it from the outside.

In addition to these awe-inspiring monuments, Paris displays fashion with its designer boutiques and haute couture houses. Stroll into the cafes & brasserie to taste the original cuisines. And don’t stop yourself from tasting the top wines from the shelves of Paris.

Already packing, aren’t you? Well, if not, then you should. The beautiful city of Paris awaits you to shows its jewels.

This article is written by Pranali Mehta, a content writer / blogger / Chemical engineer
Bhavik Sarkhedi

Founder:’Write Right'(Inc Verified)
Author: The Weak Point Dealer Will You Walk A Mile?

I Write for Entrepreneur,Elite Daily,YourStory,BuzzFeed,e27.co,Inc42.com, BusinessZone,LifeHack.Techinasia
LifeHacker,Misfits InternetBillboards,BroBible,IamWire NextBigWhat TNW, LetsDND, Digital Doughnut IndiaTravel HuffingtonPost Indrastra Bdaily Faking News

Featured in Forbes Entrepreneur LifeHack HuffingtonPost WriterStory Interview HuffPost B2C BookGoodies Goodreads

The Unproposed Guy A Proud Loader Funny Randomz