Playing With Etymology: The Irony Behind Every ‘Word’
1.Dentist:
One who is skilled in and licensed to practice the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of diseases, injuries, and malformations of the teeth, jaws, and mouth and who makes and inserts false teeth.
Seriously Humorous: A magician who puts metal into your mouth, and pulls a coin out of your pocket.
2. Martyrdom:
The death that is imposed because of the person’s adherence of a religious faith or cause.
Creative Answer: The only way a man can become famous without ability.
3. Pilot:
A person who flies or is qualified to fly an aircraft or spacecraft.
Creative Answer: A person who spend most of the day looking out of the window.
4. Marketing Manager:
The marketing manager is a person who plans about how to promote products, services or brands and oversee all marketing activity.
Unmanageable Answer: Marketing manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
5. Psychologist:
Someone who studies the human mind, human emotions and behavior, and how different situations have an effect on people.
Unattractive Answer: A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
6. Professor:
A teacher of the highest academic rank in a college or university, who has been awarded the title ‘Professor’ in a particular branch of learning.
Professing: Someone who talks in someone else’s sleep.
7. Economist:
A person who studies or has a special knowledge of economics.
Economic Answer: A person who knows more about money than the people who have it.
8. Gynecologist:
A physician who specializes in treating diseases of the female reproductive organs and providing well-woman health care that focuses primarily on the reproductive organs.
Plenty of answers: A gynecologist is a dentist for the downstairs mouth.
Who is authoritative to see others can’t/other dreams about.
A pervert with a medical degree.
9. Secretary:
A person employed by an individual or in an office to assist with correspondence, make appointments and carry out administrative tasks.
Creative Answer: Housewife for the office.
10. Hacker:
A hacker is any highly skilled computer expert capable of breaking into computer systems and networks using bugs and exploits.
Lazy Answer: A lazy person who by chance loves ‘all-computer’ and is happy that he now need not move from a place to earn money.
11. Archaeologist:
A person who studies human history and prehistory through the excavation of sites and the analysis of artifacts and other physical remains.
Ruined Answer: Man whose career lies in ruins.
12. Politician:
A person who is professionally involved in politics, especially as a holder of an elected office.
Selling Answer: Salespeople who sell voter’s dreams but deliver only nightmares.
13. Statistician:
A statistician is a math expert who uses huge amounts of data to figure out how likely it is that something will happen, like your chances of winning the lottery.
Statistical Answer: Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
14. Lawyer:
One whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters.
Argued Answer: One who takes a simple two-way promise and turn it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill.
15. Editor:
A person who is in charge of and determines the final content of a newspaper, magazine, or multi-author book.
Edited Answer: A person employed on a newspaper whose business is to separate the wheat from chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
16. Diplomat:
A person appointed by a national government to conduct official negotiations and maintain political, economic, and social relations with another country or countries.
Diplomatic Answer: A person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
17. Consultant
A consultant is a professional who provides expert advice in a particular area.
Simple Answer: Someone who borrows your watch, tells you the time and then charges you for the privilege.
18. Committee:
A person or group of persons elected or appointed to perform some service or function, as to investigate, report on, or act upon a particular matter.
Committed Answer: A group of people who keep minutes and waste hours.
19. Broker:
A broker is an individual or firm that charges a fee or commission for executing buy and sell orders submitted by an investor.
Brokerage: A broker is a person whose first five letters spells broke, more debts are spelled as a broker.
20. Barrister:
A person called to the bar and entitled to practice as an advocate, particularly in the higher courts.
Creative Answer: English derivation of the French term for the bastard.
21. Teacher:
A teacher is a person who helps others to acquire knowledge, competencies or values. In simple words, a person who teaches, especially in a school.
Manipulated Answer: A person who helps you solve problems you’d never have without them.
22. Doctor:
A person with a medical degree whose job is to treat people who are ill or hurt.
Godly-Human Answer: Someone who saves a life by chance.
23. Scientist:
A person who is studying or has expert knowledge of one or more of the natural or physical sciences.
Scientific Answer: Someone very confused, one who hasn’t yet found a specialization and refers himself by this general term.
24. Biologist:
A biologist is a scientist who focuses on living organisms, including plants and animals.
Biological Answer: Someone who doesn’t know how to classify what’s living and what’s non-living as yet.
25. Engineer:
A person, whose job is to design or build machines, engines, or electrical equipment, or things such as roads, railways, or bridges, using scientific principles.
Engineered: Someone who is not creative and considers creativity as not their domain.
26. Manager:
An individual who is in charge of a certain group of task, or a certain subset of a company.
Manageable Answer: Someone who takes credit for what delegates do and points finger at the delegates for something wrong he does.
27. Client:
A person or group that uses the professional advice or services of a lawyer, accountant, advertising agency, architect, etc.
Hilarious Answer: Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.
28. Dancer:
A person who dances or whose profession is dancing.
Hip Hop Answer: Someone whose brain doesn’t move as quickly as the body.
29. Historian:
An expert in or student of history, especially that of a particular period, geographical region, or social phenomenon.
Just an Answer: Someone with a serious ‘Math Phobia’ at high school level.
30. HR Manager:
The individual within an organization responsible for hiring new employees, supervising employee evaluations, meditation between employees and bosses as necessary, and general overseeing of the personnel department.
Human Resourced Answer: Person who thinks that… a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby – if given 9 Months.
31. Quality Auditor:
An independent third party who carries out the quality audit.
Audited Answer: Person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
32. Civil Engineer:
An engineer who designs and maintains roads, bridges, dams, and similar structures.
Civil Answer: Draw up plans for something that will not be built according to those plans.
Original Source: BuzzFeed
