The Lift, simply.

No, No. I am not going to be erotic. Definitely not with how the 50 shades of grey showed the audience what can possibly happen in a lift. It’s just a different unromantic story. Like I said, you know the end, I don’t make it somehow, but except that, you need to know how it is to be with (I don’t know about ‘On’ or ‘Below)a girl, observing silently and sometimes, talking, I am sorry, murmuring to yourself.

This is about one of the times when I am alone with the girl in a lift. Fast Forward. The lift suddenly stopped. The security alarm was already raised. It was the matter of time we had to go through. She succeeded, I failed.

The first couple of minutes was just the unconscious state of mind where we fear death but then, we realize, it’s not a horror movie. The next minutes we take out our smartphones, to call the concerned person. Seriously? I still dial the f***ing 10 digits to call my friends and families. I didn’t have any useful number. I was a douche. I am not saying it, she must have said when she asked me if I had any relevant helpful number.

By the time I nodded horizontally, I felt so optimistic about the situation if I had few saved number. I think I got married in my imagination. Yes, certainly, she wasn’t impressed with my looks, because Duh, you are bald at the age of 25, and who wears toilet slippers outside the house?

God hears of those who helps others. Quoted Right?

I finally got my moment, I call it, the “Masturbation Moment” where some scene would occur to me and I would click it for its later use. I had to lift her up since we were on midway floors. Catching her from the waist, thin waist, softly thin waist, I lift her on the lift and don’t guess, what lifted itself eventually?

Not a single word spoken. Felt dumbstruck, disgusted and dead. I managed to get out of that cubicle hell that made me look fool to a beautiful.

This short funny tale is originally published here

Feel free to reach the copywriter based at Vadodara, Bhavik Sarkhedi

Tinder is where a guy looks for another guy!

I didn’t know that I will do it to this extent. I certainly couldn’t believe what I saw. I had no idea what to do with it and so, I am sharing it with you guys and girls of ‘Tinder’ age.  It was that midnight when I completed a year but was unable to celebrate the anniversary, it was a 365-day completion of my Tinder installation and I have not been able to find a single date.

Adding salt to my misery, the roommate told me, “Bhai, you owe me 300 something bucks. You subscribed for some shit and all.”

Yes, I had told my friend that it was a Hotstar subscription and he would always wonder why I would deny sharing my smartphone for an hour or so to watch the GOT episodes. Turned out that day he found out that I purchased a paid version of Tinder and he freaked out.

“Saala, dost to chu**ya banata hein. How many dates did you find in this one month?”

Soon after he realized that I couldn’t find any date from the paid version, there was a 2-minutes silence in our apartment and we decided to make use of that one last day of the paid application.

This is how we did it- The unexpected search of all the ‘Un-dated Guys’ like me, I gave them the name ‘The Unproposed Guys’.

Since we had the paid app, we turned our settings from finding ‘Female’ to finding ‘Male’ and went on to check the entire categories of guy profiles across the country. We changed locations, we changed ages, and we changed settings to get ‘That One Guy’ who will be like us (Funniest, Weirdest and Ugliest). We were wrong.

There weren’t any such profile, there were many. 😀  : D

Guys so becomes a salesman when they showoff. I will start with one of the primary profiles which excited us both to make that night the most memorable and laughable (on others).

  • ‘Swipe Right To Know More, Dear.’

Wow, this is the worst and the slowest click bait ever. The guy is so confident that the girl will swipe him right although he had 3 pictures of ‘Shree Ganesh’, ‘Shree Krishna’ and ‘Vishnu’ in his profile. May the lords bless him and his bait!

  • ‘Hit me up if you feel so, baby.’

That’s what I wanted to do it. The TED talk taught me to have confidence but I didn’t get the guts to say this in virtual world where only women will read it, only women. After this, I came across many irrelevant phrases that made no sense but were written so dauntlessly that I ‘laughed on my feet’, yea, this kind of phrases.

  • ‘I am here for few days only, ladies. Hurry up.’

Where is the loudspeaker we haven’t used since ages, Samrat? He turned it on and I laughed it with the mic in my hand until he turned it off because I felt relieved and relaxed. Yes, I am not the only stupidest guy in the world. Actually, the world is full of it. Hurry up? Seriously? Didn’t I tell you about the sales pitch? Hence, proved.

Within 3 hours that I will remember the most in my life, we had traveled to 15 countries and scrolled almost 500 profiles that were utter bullshit. When I told my friend in excitement, “Drinks on me, tomorrow”, only then I realized that we were already high without alcohol. Man, I haven’t expressed my honest emotions sober. He said, “I am proud of you, Bhavik”. We hugged laughing, for about two seconds, but then we remember that we saw few cool profiles too and we hugged crying.

Moving on.

  • ‘90s lover. Let’s meet at your balcony. I will be downstairs. Whatsapp me: 84600342**’
  • ‘I am getting married soon but I don’t want my wife to tell me that I didn’t have any girlfriend till date, so let’s date.’
  • ‘My mother forced me to register on shaadi.com & my father told me to come here.’
  • ‘People are talking about this app. Let’s try it. Who wants to date me first?’

I told Samrat to bring near the mic but he denied. I somehow managed to laugh monstrously enough to wake the neighbors up. This apartment is full of bachelors, so whatever.

  • ‘Dheeraj, my name is slow but I am not. Email me @dheeraj.notsoslow@gmail.com’
  • ‘Jignesh. Gujju but I don’t like Gathiya, Fafda or Garba. Date me, please, I am cute.’

Man, you should love all those things. Where is your dignity? Be proud of being a Gujju. Before I could buck him up telepathically, Samrat reminded me when I ate egg (being Jain) just to convince a girl (which eventually didn’t work out) that I am not afraid of hens. Hahahahaaha.

  • ‘Gayrish. I am gay. My gf doesn’t know it. Need a girl with whom I can share my feelings because guys don’t listen to me anymore.

Emerge a Winner against Fierce Start-up Competition [Enhanced]

With change in the markets being a constant, companies have to be on their toes in order to gain a foothold over their rivals. Take Facebook for that matter, the social networking giant has been mostly unrivalled, and their sustained dominance can be relayed to timely enhancement of existing features and adding new features. Entrepreneurs can learn valuable lessons from such cases. What is most important is that your company has a clear vision. All the employees must be well versed with the aim so that they are in sync with the workings of the company. This is necessary to deal with the competitive market all around. Identify the type of company you are, so that you can use the data to boost your sales and popularity. For instance, Google is a company dealing primarily in Data. Hence, it makes strategies and features based on what it deals in.

It would be very naïve, and uninformed if one points out that their company has no competition in the market. Everyone knows that there is cut-throat competition in the market. You will try to expand and build on your customer base as well try to attract investors only because you are afraid some other company might get ahead of you. Analyse your revenue status and be prepared for the reality beyond the investing bubble. Be mentally prepared to face the strain of revenue and act in such a way that your company does not face any undue losses.

You may find a number of rival companies which are under the umbrella of some big organisation which is already very famous and established. Make efforts to know the specialty of their products and services. Try them out yourself and conduct surveys if necessary. Knowing your competitors strengths and weaknesses can come in very handy. Moreover, you can make necessary alterations in your products and services so as to have an edge over your potential competitors. Also, try to identify those areas which may help bring in future investments and a larger customer base.

Be in touch with the latest tech-talks around town, and read all the magazines and blogs related even remotely to the essence of your company. It is helpful to know the market scenarios – for instance if any of your rival companies just got funding recently, you can try to know why their products appealed more to the investors and strategize to enhance your own products accordingly. Read the app and product reviews of your potential competitors. Do not fret if your company is being targeted by any other company specifically. Learn the tricks of the trade. Learn about their products and services to have an edge. Then analyse if your presence is truly a thorn in their way to success. If not, then you do not have much to worry about. Focus on your performance and enhancements in order to reach out to more and more customers. A motivated team is necessary to take a company to new heights. Make sure you hire only those people who would have a passion to work for your company. Working just for the sake of money is never enough.

In the end, all that matters is how composed you can be in the face of imminent danger. Try to approach problems in a mature manner so that panic never reaches your doorstep.

Enhance your Oral Communication Skills and ace Interviews

How would the interview panel choose between any two candidates with almost equal calibre, when they have applied for the same job? One must understand the importance of Oral Communication Skills in today’s world. According to a survey of Human Resource and Recruiting professionals done by iCIMS – a talent acquisition software company, more than 60 per cent of the recruiters are more likely to give the job to the ones with better oral communication skills.

The communication skills of any job applicant in today’s world, has been observed to play a crucial role while getting a job. If a person has good communication skills, it adds to the credentials mentioned on the candidate’s bio-data or resume. It automatically boosts one’s image in front of the recruiting panel. This skill is powerful enough to have an edge in any job interview, irrespective of the type of company or field of work. Business enterprises across the globe are appealed by people with good oral communication skills. In our nation, we have seen that nowadays, the entrance examinations conducted by the Central and State Governments have a personal interview round. Here each candidate is screened based on their oral communication skills. This shows the importance of such skills in today’s world.

There a number of factors those have led to the demand of fluency of oral communication skills in jobs nowadays. But the foremost reason for this is globalisation. Communication skills come I handy while handling relations between the partners; or maintaining ties with other companies essential for the growth of the parent company. Moreover, communication skills must be forte of any team leader in the world of business enterprises. The team members must also have good communication skills so as to enhance productivity while communicating, sharing of ideas and working together towards a common goal.

Oral communication skills consist of a number of nuances put together. These branches together contribute to extraordinary oral communication skills of a person. One must be a good listener as well as a good observer to enhance productivity. One must also be prepared to clear any obstacles in the path to success, which brings in enthusiasm in a person. Nowadays, one’s fashion sense, body language as well as presentation skills play key roles in determining the oral communication skills of a person. Politeness and humility are ornaments for any job seeker.

Usually, candidates when nervous tend to avoid eye contact while answering questions put up by the interview panel. This gives a negative feedback to the interview panel. And never forget to thank the interviewers at the end. The candidate’s phone must not disturb the process of interview; else it will show that a candidate is not serious about work.

So speak up to get a job. And maintain good oral communication skills so as to appeal to the interview panel. Along with problem-solving skills, time-management and problem-solving expertise, good oral communication skills are a must nowadays.

What must Millennials follow – Passion or Reason?

It is an age old debate as to which one is superior – Passion or Reason?

Plato would definitely have vouched for the superiority of Reason, as is evident from his ideal “city state.” But do you think Reason was enough alone for Mother Teresa to help hundreds of less privileged? Or was Reason enough for Mandela to lead the fight against Racism? Well, it is indeed a certain grey area between both which can answer such questions. Certainly, Jeff Bezos combined both Passion and Reason to get where he is, and so did Mark Zuckerberg.

Passion tends to overcome the balance of mind often. Let’s say you are the founder or co-founder of some start-up with an innovative pitch. You have put your heart and soul into the success path of the platform. And one fine day, during your initial days with the company, you have this sudden adrenaline pump. You wake up to an idea which seems mellifluous to you in the middle of the night. What would you do? Would you pursue the idea till its completion into reality? Or ponder upon it for some more days?

Well, one must realise that ideas may seem great, but the pros and cons must be weighed thoroughly before implementing it. Moreover, one must understand what the customers want. Surveys are very helpful in such cases. These are scenarios where the need of Reason and Numbers arise. Surveys call for qualitative as well as quantitative analyses which cannot be done without the play of numbers. The number of pros of an idea must outweigh the number of cons as well. Another instance when Reason must prevail is the problem of adrenaline rush in the middle of the night. Every activity has a definite time in the course of the day. One must try to relax during sleeping hours. Such rush of hormones due to overdoses of Passion is the main cause of Insomnia for young entrepreneurs. The sane instincts are overlooked by the heart and mind. Hence, decisions must be taken when both body and mind is well rested, and not in the middle of the night usually.

Yet passion and reason cannot do without each other. A person is truly successful when there is a proper balance between the two. It is Passion which makes us start something worthwhile in life; while it is Reason alongside of Passion which makes us take the right steps. Think of a situation when you have been given a free chocolate cake at the restaurant you visited for dinner. The first instinct would be to devour the whole cake. But your mind would take control in sometime and tell you that you must consume only the part you can, and get the rest parcelled. Making an idea work takes a lot of hard work in reality. That is why reason must balance out the wild waves of passion. Every successful entrepreneur out there would tell any young entrepreneur that it is necessary to balance passion and reason on the journey of a start-up. Moreover, one must understand the market scenario and the needs of the customers before putting the accelerator switch on any idea borne out of passion alone. It is very easy to be influenced by something nowadays, but tough to make the idea persist.

Dear young Millennials and Entrepreneurs, take care to maintain the balance between passion and reason. The balanced combination of both is definitely a package meant to harbour in success.