The Last Crush of My Life- II [Updated]

I really thought after describing The Last Crush of My Life, it would all end. Does it actually? The previous description was lyrical and poetic. Let this be analytical and psychological. Yes, I started researching on PsychologyToday and Quora to know about the behavior and characteristics of your crush. What? Are you crazy? I am aware that I have exceeded the infatuation level. Am I into that zone where talking to her is the ultimate goal? Or am I being vulnerable by being so desperate?

PS- Since she is gorgeous, I assume she must have someone in life and obviously, being an unproposed and ugly I know she is outta’my league.

It’s been so long now that I remember talking to a beautiful girl I like. Has it been 4 years already? Oh my, the last time I did something terrific and terrible was somewhere in April 2014. Wow, that’s 4 years now. Congratulations, Bhavik. You are climbing the new stairs of failure.

Never have I ever felt in my life I can’t even work properly because of the adrenaline rush of the pretty girl’s face coming right in front of you.

I scroll through your Facebook. I see your Instagram.

The social media is all I can do to win the grand slam.

I look at your pictures and then I look into the mirror.

It’s sad to say that it all gets clearer when I go nearer.

I look at her and the world around me fades away.

Like the song ‘Faded’, her single glance makes my day.

I lost hope in ‘Wishes’ and ‘Dreams’ so I ‘assume ‘she notices me.

Whenever I don’t look at her, I imagine she too looks at me.

It’s so obvious in stories like this that the guy regrets eventually.

I must admit though she is one of those moments lived exceptionally.

 

I scroll again through her Facebook and Instagram.

To see if there are new pictures of her to see her life-gram.

I still find nothing of her and I stay cool-calm-chills.

My curiosity doubles day by day to know her rituals and hobbies.

I am sure it will be different than me; she is an introvert.

I am sure there will be a major heartbreak soon as I am an extrovert.

What would I do if someday I get a chance to talk to her? I ask myself.

What would be her first question if she asks me about anything? I ask myself.

What would be the possible outcome of that 2-liner conversation? I ask myself.

Well, I wish she could hear me rap an Eminem song.

Well, I wish she could see my name somewhere on Google.

Well, I wish she could laugh at my standup comedy

Well, I wish she could smile looking at me like I do.

But then remember, I have lost faith in ‘Dreams’ and ‘Wishes’.

 

This is it. I so want to tell her this in person but like other guys, I would fail and she would never know.

God has made beautiful girls and stud guys, ugly guys, and fat girls.  God should have made a separate world for both the category. The chaos starts when the categories co-incidentally collide and booom Catastrophe. 

The Last Crush of My Life

Did I already say you were more than a crush?

I was awestruck when I first saw you blush.

Vivaciously I fell head over heels and got adrenaline rush.

Your ‘no degree’ eye deflection towards anyone put my feelings in flush.

Actually, from the first, I was aware that you were plush.

Did I ever ask you to call?

It has not been so rare that I fall.

Very closely I have observed you, doll.

You sure you never noticed me a small?

Actually, I had no intention to cross the wall.

Did you know how much I liked you?

I am so sure about the number of gums you chew.

Vast lifestyle differences were one of the answers, it’s true.

You sure you never found a single minute to get my good view?

Actually, I know I did everything to get to you but got a sad Phewwwww.

Did I mention that I lost my self-esteem?

I wish I could talk to you as it was my dream.

Very rapidly, that beautiful dream turned into a daydream.

Your ‘I don’t give a F***’ attitude switched my fantasy to a sad theme.

Actually, it all happened for a reason before I could reach an extreme.

Did I tell you I wanted to confess your name so badly?

I could have broadcasted it on TV, Radio, and YouTube abruptly.

Very sincerely, I tried to get a good morning glance of yours daily.

Your ‘I am not looking at anyone’ omen hinted me to stop sadly.

Actually, I wish you could know how at the very first sight, I fell for you truly & madly.

Did I tell you they warned me that looks are deceiving?

I always unheard them as I felt some beautifully hidden meaning.

Very good, was never a compliment as I failed every time in pleasing.

Your ‘I can never be impressed by you’ gave me a disheartening screaming.

Actually, it all starts with the ravishing looks and ends with books, unceasing.

PS- Though I was ahead of her in the race of alphabets, I lost to her in the race of love.