An array of jokes – Just Laugh it Out!

If a girl says she will be ready in 5 minutes she will be.
No need to remind her about it every 15 minutes while she’s getting ready.

They: Bullets are so weird.
Me: No. They only do their job after they’re FIRED.
They: I think I finally understood a joke! It went right through my head.
Me: I gave it my best SHOT, at least.
They: Too bad it was a MISFIRE.
Me: You really hit the bull’s eye with that one.

In school, a girl I had a crush on got glasses and she hated wearing it. I remember my dumbass brain signalling me to stare at lightbulbs for hours trying to get glasses to make her feel better.

Well, eventually I got glasses but I was late as someone did it faster than me.

PS- I still have glasses and well, a tag of Forever Single followed from then.

Why can you never trust an atom?
Because they literally make up everything.

Professional Life is all about “Tu nahi karega to koi aur kar lega.”

Personal Life is all about “Yeh to tu hi Karega” and “Yeh to tu Karega hi.”

Two windmills are in a wind farm.
One turns to the other and asks, “What kind of music do you like?”

The other says, “I am a huge metal fan.”

The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, “You have a cute baby.”

The smiling husband said, “I bet you say that to all new parents.”

“No,” she replied, “just to those whose babies really are good-looking.”

The husband again asked, “So what do you say to the others?”

The nurse replied, “The baby looks just like you.”

A girl once told me, “If you gain about 50 pounds and increase your height a bit you’d be cute and cool.”
I told her, “if I do that then I’d be talking to your friends!”

Q: How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Why does it have to be a group activity?
PS – Trust me, the introverts like this joke. They just don’t want to put themselves out there by commenting.

For people with IQ>100.

There’s a room full of 16 and 18-year-olds.
Why aren’t there any 17-year-olds with them? Because the 17-year-olds are mean.

How did the Hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his coffee before it was cool…

Reddit: What is going on, pals?

Instagram: People love me no matter what.
Facebook: People used to love me.
Snapchat: Only Millenials love me.
YouTube: People will always love me.
Google+: Someday, people will, I know.
Twitter: I don’t care, guys.

A rich man to a pauper: When you will start buying stuff from that brand, that day, I will buy that damn brand!