A Tinder Chat

This is a story from a couple of years ago when I had recently joined Tinder.I had read a tweet by a boy I now call my saviour. According to the hero, you can put your picture on Tinder upside down so that when a girl sees your picture and obviously swipes left owing to your ugliness, she actually ends up swiping right.

The confidence I had on my ugliness, tricking the girl to swipe right was the only option. Being single for an year, I readily took the advice and started to implement his plan. I now had to choose an ugly picture and choosing one from the four pictures I had clicked in the last year wasn’t really a task.

Yes, all wasn’t smooth sailing as I now had to remove the YOLO sticker from the picture which would have given the trick away but you know what they say- you have to give up something to get something better. I updated my profile and the same day started to get requests from girls that were even out of my league to dream about. Oh yes. Finally a right swap after full 15 days. (I had joined Tinder 15 days ago).

Before the girl realized her mistake, I had already turned on my Desi charm.
‘Hello miss’ I texted her, reluctantly deleting ‘Nice pic dyr’ following the ‘Top 10 things not do to while talking to a girl.’
‘Hi. I was going to block you right away but it was a nice trick. I have to give you that.’
Jumping on the bed, I replied ‘Where are you from?’
‘Delhi. Where do you put up?’
‘Put up what?’
‘Yourself?’
‘Usually on the floor. I rarely lie down. I am a fitness freak that way.’ I replied getting proud of my message. I was always the gym freak of my group and wouldn’t miss a chance of letting people know that. Basically, I was the CA of the gym world.
‘Hahaha you are so funny.’
Confused what was funny about my message, I continued the conversation ‘Any hobbies? ‘
‘I like to read and write. You?’
‘Gymming.’
‘Oh I too love gymming. What’s your favourite machine?’
‘All’ I said backspacing ‘right next to whichever the hot girl is using’
‘That’s cool. I also like to cook in my free time. Do you?’
‘I don’t get you.’
‘I mean do you like to cook food at your home?’
‘Sorry I thought you were interested in men. Hope you find yourself a good woman.’ I had only watched my mother and sisters cook, so such a question confused me. Atleast I wasn’t a homophobe(phew). Ofcourse, sexism and misogyny wasn’t a part of the ‘Top 10 things not to follow in your life’ I had read.
For the readers- I am a better person now and don’t fall into the binaries of gender or a good and committed relationship 😉